You Don’t Mess with the Zohan(2008)

Plot Summary

• Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler) is a superhuman but kind Israeli counter-terrorist and the finest and most respected soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. Zohan is also massively popular with the ladies.However, Zohan has become both disgusted and disenchanted by the constant fighting, secretly dreaming of moving to the USA and becoming a hairdresser for John Paul Mitchell Systems in the United States, but his parents (mother (Dina Doronne) and father (Shelley Berman)) disapprove of him when he talks about leaving the IDF to do something more creative.This reaches a breaking point when a barbecue he hosts on a beach (with some hot looking women) is interrupted by the IDF sending Zohan on a mission to stop a Palestinian terrorist group being led by his personal arch-enemy, Fatoush "the Phantom" Hakbarah (John Turturro), who also possesses superhuman traits. Phantom was seen at a Hack Sack tournament in Beirut. Zohan had captured Phantom 3 months ago, but the IDF traded him in exchange for 2 soldiers.His IDF superiors lay out a risky plan which will have multiple civilian casualties, including loss of military life on both sides. Zohan knows that this is a ploy to get him to accept the mission, as he would go in alone and keep casualties to a minimum.Despite being upset over his party ruined, Zohan sees it as his long-awaited chance to desert the IDF and move to America. During the pursuit he fakes his own death in a grenade fight with the Phantom and smuggles himself onto a flight to New York City, cutting his own hair (in the Avalon style that he saw in the Paul Mitchell hair-styling magazine) and taking the alias "Scrappy Coco" (the names of two dogs he shared the flight with) while claiming that he is "Half Australian, Half Mount Everest." Meanwhile the Phantom becomes rich and famous for supposedly killing Zohan and starts his own fast-food business, "Muchen Tuchen".After landing Zohan goes straight to a Paul Mitchell salon but is laughed at when he says that he wants to be a stylist. The Avalon cut was from an old magazine, that had been out of fashion for several years. Initially unsuccessful in getting hired at several salons, Zohan's military expertise earns him a new friend, Michael (Nick Swardson). Zohan witnesses a traffic collision involving two motorists and a cyclist named Michael. One of the motorists starts bullying Michael and yells anti-Arab slurs at Zohan, who promptly beats him up. Michael subsequently befriends Zohan and takes him to his apartment, where he lives with his mother Gail. However, Michael starts to freak out when he finds Zohan having sex with his mother, Gail (Lainie Kazan).Zohan encounters a fellow Israeli named Oori (Ido Mosseri) at a disco; he recognizes Zohan but agrees to keep his identity a secret. Oori takes him to a block in lower Manhattan filled with Middle Eastern Americans, who are split between a Palestinian side and an Israeli side of the street. Zohan attempts to land a job in a struggling salon of a Palestinian woman named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui).Because he lacks experience, she only allows Zohan to sweep the salon's floors, and he will not receive any pay because her salon is facing financial difficulties. When a stylist unexpectedly quits, one of the customers asks Zohan to cut her hair, and he accepts. Dalia eventually allows Zohan to be a stylist after he pleases a senior lady with a satisfactory haircut and back room sexual service. Zohan's reputation spreads instantly among the elderly women of lower Manhattan. Dalia's business booms and she makes her rent payments in full, upsetting Grant Walbridge (Michael Buffer), a corporate magnate who has been trying to force out all the local tenants on the block so that he can build a roller coaster mall.Zohan is identified by a Palestinian cab driver named Salim (Rob Schneider), who bears a grudge against Zohan for having taken his goat away. He meets with his friends Hamdi (Sayed Badreya) and Nasi (Daoud Heidami), convincing them to help him kill Zohan. Salim fails to kill Zohan in an unsuccessful bombing attempt. After unsuccessfully attempting to contact Hezbollah, Salim contacts Phantom in Amman, Jordan. He threatens to publicly disclose the truth about Zohan being alive, but Phantom makes a deal with him and prepares to find Zohan himself.Meanwhile, Zohan realizes that he has fallen in love with Dalia and comes clean to Michael and his mother about his true identity, before meeting Dalia. Dalia rejects Zohan after he reveals he was formerly an Israeli counter-terrorist operative. Zohan decides to quit, hoping to keep her safe from any inter-ethnic strife. Zohan decides to leave Dalia and confront Phantom in a championship Hacky Sack game sponsored by Walbridge. Zohan's fight is cut short with sudden news of the Middle Eastern block being attacked, and he quickly leaves.Zohan arrives and calms the Israelis and Palestinians, who each blame the other for the violence, while making peace with Salim. Phantom then appears and confronts Zohan, but Zohan refuses to fight. Dalia appears, revealing that she is Phantom's sister, and convinces her brother to cooperate with Zohan against the arsonists, revealed to be white racist rednecks hired by Walbridge to instigate an inter-ethnic riot so he can get his new mall in the aftermath. As Zohan and Phantom work to save the block, the latter admits that he always wanted to be a shoe salesman rather than a terrorist.Although the rednecks are defeated and Walbridge sent to jail, the overexcited Phantom accidentally destroys all the remaining shops with his superhuman screams. However, with the Israelis and the Palestinians united, the block is transformed into a collectively owned mall called the Peace and Brotherhood Fire Insurance Mall.Oori re-opens his "Going out of Business" electronics store, Phantom opens a shoe store in the mall called Fatoush's Kickin' Shoes, Salim gets back his goat, which he gives children rides on next to Trendy Toddler, and Zohan and Dalia open a joint beauty parlor called Dalohan, Zohan having married Dalia. Zohan's parents show up approving his new life before his father asks that he cut his hair, which he happily does.

Storyline

• Harbouring an ardent desire to be the best in the cut-throat world of hairdressers, the Mossad's finest agent, Zohan, seizes the opportunity to call it quits by faking his death, after a fierce battle with his arch-nemesis, Phantom. In high hopes of making his dream come true in New York, the ambitious Zohan lands a job in the stylish hair salon of the beautiful Palestinian, Dalia, and things seem to work as planned; until a man from the past blows his cover. Now, the Zohan must fight tooth and nail to keep his new lifestyle, and in the meantime, try to win the heart of his boss. Can Zohan's dazzling hairstyling techniques save the world? — Nick Riganas Zohan Dvir works as a Special Agent and lives with his orthodox parents in Israel. He wants to give up this life full of dangerous encounters with Palestinians. While in the process of apprehending a Palestinian activist known simply as the Phantom, he fakes his death, hides in a dog-kennel on a plane bound for New York, and decides to try his hand as a hair-stylist. He is refused employment initially, but when he offers to work for free, Dahlia hires him as a cleaner. When a hair-stylist named Debbie quits, Zohan replaces her, winning over elderly female clientèle, and falling in love with Dahlia herself. Before Zohan could propose to her, Dahlia's landlord, Walbridge, who has been raising rents regularly, hires skinhead goons to terrorize the neighborhood, creates misunderstandings between Jews, Muslims, Arabs, and Palestinians, and drives them out, so as to enable him to construct a new building which is topped by a roller coaster. When Zohan decides to confront these skinheads, he does not realize that he is in for quite a few surprises himself. — rAjOo (gunwanti@hotmail.com)